We always want to be a strong person. To go through everything by our own. Never be dependent on people. Try to be tough, try to act tough and think we are tough. At time when we are weak, we won't want to give up.
We think that to go through ourselve is a less burden to other people. That's why some people dont't share. Dont talk about themselves. So people around them wont need to worried about them.
But this isn't fair to people who care about us.
Because, people who care about us want to know what happen. They care, they dont want to face your fake smile. They care, they want to know. They may be worried. But they are more worried if they can see through your eyes and yet, you are not telling.
To hide from them is denying their help. To make them feel helpless, it's the worst thing you could do to ppl who care about you.
In Glee, there was a lady with OCD. She attend psychological therapy. She told the Dr.,I dont need help because this is me. I have OCD, this is me. I dont want to change because this is me. Then, the Dr respond, this is not you. You can't say we dont need to help a diabetes patient because this is what the patient is.
The Dr continued, "I was suffered with depression when I divorced with my husband. I'm like you, I think I dont need help. You know how I recovered? I start to recover when I realized I need help."
I couldn't agree more.
When I gone through something bad in my life. I always think that I should go through it alone because I want to be a tough girl, never want to be dependent on ppl. I dont want to be a baby, searching for comfort everywhere. I dont want to be vulnerable. I dont want to cry. I just want to hide myself and go through it alone. Even to the closest friend and sister, I fake a smile and bottled up feelings.
Till one day, I couldnt anymore. I was in my most vulnerable state (I hate how it was). I realized I couldnt do it anymore. I seek for help. Alot of help. From the closest friend, sister and friends. Never in my entire life I'm so open to so many ppl.
But it do feels ALOT BETTER. You can never imagine the support and how these ppl make you feel. I can only say they are amazing. They are all amazing people in my life that I really, really wish they can stay happy everyday and wish the best for them. I would never forget the things that they'd told me. Warm my heart and touch for the rest of my life.
"I will feel annoyed when people told me about their stories. But, believe me, I will never feel annoyed by your stories. You can find me everyday and tell me. I will go through with you."
"I never blame you. Because I know you will always choose the right thing."
"You will be hurt. It's painful. There is no way we can heal you. But we can accompany you more to make you feel better."
"You always cheer me up. Even you didnt say it out, I know you are sad. Please let me cheer you up also."
There is always a little tears when I recall all this word.
Thank you for being in my life :)
I do believe now, sharing your problem with someone (not everyone) makes you feel a lot easier than going through it alone.
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