I wasnt suprise that I'm not afraid of dark now. Today, new challenge comes to life again, just every time I'm in KK, something new will happen to test my independence and to conquer fear. The whole hse was in dark now because hse owner forgot to pay electric bill. Rush under the rain to the Sabah Electricity Center and paid up the bill. Back home, it was still dark. They promised to fix it at 5pm but it's still the same till now.
Last semester when my car tyre tore off, I find a way to fix it all by myself. Realizing there is no single number you can call when you're in trouble, it's sad. But I manage to fix my car tyre by asking help from stranger, I'm proud of myself that I made it. I'm more independent. This time, another problem came. But I wasn't that impressed with myself anymore. The feeling has change. In my mind, I'm no longer proud whether I can be independent or not. It doesn't matter because after all I have to do it myself. This is what I have to do. Nothing to do with independent, it's just something you can't ask help for. I realized that.
Back home, it's all dark and I'm not even worried that I'm alone. I had gone through a darker road, I would not be afraid of dark anymore. I bath in dark with no single fear. It's just how amazing painful experience can influence someone in life. You will no longer fear when the things you most fear had happen in your life.
I'm not afraid of dark anymore. But, I'm afraid of sleeping.
It sounds silly. But that is what happen every night when I goes to sleep. I'm scare. I need to sleep with movies sound. I'm afraid if I let my mind to be free before I sleep, I will think. I will recall back memories. I don't want. That's why I keep the sound to distract me to sleep. Just now, I accidentally fell asleep without setting sound and the picture of you kissing my forehead came across. I can still feel that moment so vividly. Bad. I really wish I could sleep like a normal person. Please.
Last semester when my car tyre tore off, I find a way to fix it all by myself. Realizing there is no single number you can call when you're in trouble, it's sad. But I manage to fix my car tyre by asking help from stranger, I'm proud of myself that I made it. I'm more independent. This time, another problem came. But I wasn't that impressed with myself anymore. The feeling has change. In my mind, I'm no longer proud whether I can be independent or not. It doesn't matter because after all I have to do it myself. This is what I have to do. Nothing to do with independent, it's just something you can't ask help for. I realized that.
Back home, it's all dark and I'm not even worried that I'm alone. I had gone through a darker road, I would not be afraid of dark anymore. I bath in dark with no single fear. It's just how amazing painful experience can influence someone in life. You will no longer fear when the things you most fear had happen in your life.
I'm not afraid of dark anymore. But, I'm afraid of sleeping.
It sounds silly. But that is what happen every night when I goes to sleep. I'm scare. I need to sleep with movies sound. I'm afraid if I let my mind to be free before I sleep, I will think. I will recall back memories. I don't want. That's why I keep the sound to distract me to sleep. Just now, I accidentally fell asleep without setting sound and the picture of you kissing my forehead came across. I can still feel that moment so vividly. Bad. I really wish I could sleep like a normal person. Please.
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