Friendship

After months of hesitation and a week of dilemma,
I FINALLY did it.


And, I felt relieved. 


TanMingMing posted, "We all will have some friends that we will never let go no matter what."


Yes, I do. I know very well who I treasure the most as my friend. I know who I wanted to keep in my life and see how they grow old. Look at their wrinkles and compare to mine, have a laugh while having teatime. I wanted to see them, the friends that I treasure most.


I don't want to feel regret in my future if I didn't took this step today. Bad things might happen between friends. But I believe, it took courage to bring two friends back. Someone have to make a move. I made this move today so I could have this friend back to my life.


So, I could now happily said I own the best best best BFF in the world no matter how odd or how strange personality you guys have (or I have).


I don't have many ten years to build another strong friendship. So, I start treasure.

Today is the best present

"In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, relationship we are afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make."


Ppl like to ask question like, "What will you do if today is the last day of Earth?"


The most top answer, "I will confessed to the person I love." 


Farica told me that she dont really think that these ppl who answer this will do this when it comes to the last day of Earth. They will eventually find a way to survive as human nature do. She will find a way to survive. 


Well then I told her, you're lucky because you're at a state of life that if you die today (*touchwood* long live farica!), you will have no regret of what you have done. You're at a state of life that you're contended with what you're having now. So lucky.


Them, on the other hand, still hold back on their courage in pursuing their love. Yet, It's happy to know that everyone actually have hope in their life. They have someone they love/ like but dont have the courage to move a step forward. Still a good thing since they have this special someone in their heart.


Meanwhile, for me, my answer was spontaneous in mind. There are two things that I would love to do. Firstly, I would told A (someone), I never think that you are a bad person. Second, to B, you didn't realized this but you are one person who make me smile when I'm in my lowest. Thank you for your existence in my dark time. Your little act bring sweetness to my heart.


Everyday I'm living without wanting myself to regret in future. I cant correct the past. But I'm proud of myself that I did something in the past that I will have no regret in future. Because I know, I gave my best in fixing it. And for that, I wont regret anymore. Thanks to myself I took the courage though it was an ugly step. Yet, it worth.


I'm looking forward for my future :)
And the beginning is always present.

Safe & Sound

In the drama On 36 hours call, 鱼子 said,

"When human go faced sadness and death, they often questioned God, why am I the one? Why of all people, I am the one who have to suffer this? Why am I so unlucky? Human, in nature, will keep on ask why. Because they are afraid. They are afraid of pain and death. But actually it's human who forgot that, pain and death will always be a part of our life. We know from the day we born, we will die one day. So, we shouldn't be afraid. We should go through everyday in the best way we can."

Do you understand this?

All of us will have a fear in our heart, in our mind. No matter how strong you are. You will be fear of something. We try hard to protect ourselves from being hurt. We will try hard to prevent ourselves from feeling pain. It's nature. Not every one can make their day pass through with smile. Be thankful that you still have a chance to make a difference in your life. Be thankful that you are not dying tmr, you can still make a better tmr. There are so many things that can make us upset. But if we dont value our days, you will never know when God took it away. It might be just the next hour, an accident, you will be gone.

Think of the last thing you wish to do before you die. Do you wish to cry before you die? Do you wish to leave this world with tears? No one will. Yes, no one will. So, you shouldn't even cry today so it won't be the last thing you ever regret when you're gone.

Try to find the inner peace in your mind.

This song give me a little peace when I start to off track.

I remember tears streaming down your face

When I said, I'll never let you go

When all those shadows almost killed your light

I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone

But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes

The sun is going down

You'll be alright

No one can hurt you now

Come morning light

You and I'll be safe and sound

Don't you dare look out your window darling

Everything's on fire

The war outside our door keeps raging on

Hold onto this lullaby

Even when the music's gone

Just close your eyes

The sun is going down

You'll be alright

No one can hurt you now

Come morning light

You and I'll be safe and sound

Just close your eyes

You'll be alright

Come morning light,

You and I'll be safe and sound...

The sky above.

I just hate to be in bad mood. When ever I'm in bad mood, what ever that come across my sight just become so insightful no matter how adorable things are, how tasty food is, how wonderful quotes means and how nicely the song sounds, IT JUST MAKE ME UNHAPPY! Yes, I'm mad. I'm literally mad at anything! Or simply nothing! Good, the pms strikes me. Took all over my soul and every hormones. Me is just no longer Yap Pui Foong.

I came through this stupid quotes that may sounds very enlighten to most ppl but for this particular moment, I just find it annoying.

Yes, we don't always need to pretend strong. We don't need to prove ppl that we are the mighty dinosaur that are not afraid of the sky falling. But if you are crying in front of ppl everyday, ppl will just think that you are pathetic attention seeker that are so vulnerable that can even stand upon your own feet. Try finding a person and tell him/her all your depression story and cry your lung out to express yourselves. Talk to him/ her everyday and cry, cry, cry. I bet in a week him/ her will be missing in fb and you will forever see him/ her offline!

We pretend all time because we have to. Because that is the only thing we feel that is so secure. We want that mask so ppl could look at us as a happy person and treat us the same as all happy ppl out there. We do not want to cry because we don't want any special attention that would make us so weak. We do not want to cry because we do want to depend on a third party to stand up. We pretend all that so we can be a person we wanted to be so much, so desperately.

And most importantly, we pretend to be so fine because we don't want ppl to concern so that we do not need to tell the sad story again.

It's not that we don't want to cry. It's just crying is tiring too.

Kenangan Terindah

Appreciate is the word that I never learn =)

It's true that I am so stubborn. It's true that I took things for granted. It's true that I assumed everything that you did were something you should. It's true that I was being so unfair to you. It's true that you are the victim. And to realize now, sorry is just ain't enough. Sorry doesn't turns things back. Sorry can only be a word to regret for your past and hopefully, make a difference in future.

And this is what I learn now, appreciation.

The past memories were so happy and vivid. But it turns into scars when everything turns up side down. It turns into something I was so afraid of. It's a past I used to treasure so much, so much, so precious. Yet, I make all these my scars and a cause to my tears. Something can't be forgot for both good and bad.

But I realized, I can't make this memories as my scars. It can't be my phobia. It has to be some precious memories. It can't be change even to now and it will not. Definitely not.

Instead of thinking this as my scars, I will keep it as the best memories =)

And I truly understand this now.

Aku yang lemah tanpamu

Aku yang rentan karena

Cinta yang telah hilang darimu

Yang mampu menyanjungku

Selama mata terbuka

Sampai jantung tak berdetak

Selama itu pun

Aku mampu tuk mengenangmu

Darimu, kutemukan hidupku,

Bagiku, kau lah cinta sejati

Bila yang tertulis untukku

Adalah yang terbaik untukmu

Kan kujadikan kau kenangan

Yang terindah dalam hidupku

Namun takkan mudah bagiku

Meninggalkan jejak hidupku

Yang telah terukir abadi

Sebagai kenangang yang terindah

I always sing thins song last time but never felt so deeply as now.

"As long as my eyes are open, till my heart stop beating,

As long as that,I will afford to miss you.

If what written for me, it's the best for you.

I will make you as my memories, the best one in my life.

It will not be easy for me to leave your life

What that has been craved will always the best memories."

And, I always believe in this.

Sometimes, if you truly love someone, you have to let them go their own way. And if it's true love, it will find it's way back to you.

♥

Did you love me like the angel

I think everyone will go through this. A feeling of wanting something back so badly, so desperately but no. You can hope, you can imagine but the result will be the same. Something you wanted will not always be on your hand. This is life. Whether you like or not, this is reality.

There are many life quotes we read everyday. So many that can be related to us. Some bring us hope but some just called us to give up.

I rmber this quote.

"If a person leave your life. Let it be. Because it means that the person journey in your life has ended. Do not hate this person."

It's meaningful and it always related to a relationship or a friend. Someone very dear to you had leave your life. You couldn let go because that person had stay in your heart for very, very long. You couldn let go because that person has completed your life for so long. You're indulged in it. Like you immersed in a quick sand. Hard to pull yourselve up. But at the end of the day, you just have to right.

You can't beg a person to stay with you. It's meaningless. So what you're in pain. So what you pass your days with tears. You cannot just force a person to stay in your life to make yourself happy. The world dont turn for you. Another person dont live for you.

It's sad. But you just have to face the truth.

For you,

did you love me like the sun

did you hold me like the mountain

in the years of you and me

did you love me like the angel

you've gone away

you said you'd stay

when the road was in your hand

did you love me like the angel

when the wind would set you free

would you love me like the angel

This is for you my friend. I wish you the greatest happiness in your life =)